Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Die To The Need To Be Right

1 Corinthians 4:7
What makes you better than anyone else? What do you have that God hasn't given you? And if all you have is from God, why boast as though you have accomplished something on your own?

If I wanted your opinion I’d give it to you.

When I was a youngster my grandmother would say to me, “All you want to do is argue.” “No I don’t” would be my retort.

And so we’d have a vigorous and robust discussion, usually with me trying to get the last word in.

Have you ever found yourself trying to get the last word in? It wouldn’t be so hard if the other person would just let you, right?

In my experience, one of the most common challenges that successful people face is a constant need to win. When the issue is important, they want to win. When the issue is trivial, they want to win. Even when the issue isn't worth the effort or is clearly to their disadvantage, they still want to win.

Research shows that the more we achieve, the more we tend to want to "be right." At work meetings, we want our position to prevail. In arguments, we pull out all the stops to come out on top. Even at supermarket checkouts, we scout other lines to see if there's one that's moving faster. Marshall Goldsmith

Needing to get the last word in is all about our wanting to be right, our needing to be right, and our sense of pride. Each and every day God asks us to die to self, to remember our baptism and to fully embrace the fact that we don’t need to somehow prove ourselves anymore. Who we are and the gifts and talents we have come from God in the first place.

When you see a candy jar, you may feel thankful but would reckon it silly if the jar was to somehow say to you, “Look at my goodies inside. Aren’t I special?”

Try going the next week by letting others get the final say. Don’t force your will upon others. Let them decide: your spouse, your friends, and your children. Monitor your thoughts as you bite your tongue. What may God be saying through them?

“There is no greater loss than the answer to a question no one is asking.” Reinhold Niebuhr

Philippians 2:3-4
Don't be selfish; don't live to make a good impression on others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourself. Don't think only about your own affairs, but be interested in others, too, and what they are doing.

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