Desperate HouseLives: Broken Bedrooms

Today in Desperate HouseLives we look at the idea of “Broken Bedrooms”. Next week is family Day and we’ll look at the idea of parenting, as well as have a baptism, a new birth!

Ken & Barbie: most little kids grow up thinking that these two dolls represent the ideal man and woman. Well, here’s some interesting information for you. If Barbie were a real woman, she’d be seven feet tall. Her bust would measure 38-40 inches, her waist between 18-24 inches, and her hips between 33-35 inches. Barbie’s weight would be 110 pounds. Barbie would have to walk on all fours due to her proportions.

If Ken were a real man, he’d be seven feet, 8 inches tall. His chest would be about seven inches larger than the average man’s, and his neck would be about eight inches larger. Needless to say, this attractive and ‘sexy’ couple isn’t realistic in everyday life.
Desperate Housewives is built on the premise that things are not always as they seem. We discussed that last week. We can choose a façade of a nice white picket fence; we can choose to perform; to try and fill our emptiness in unfulfilling ways; or we can choose to give up control of our life and live in the house of trust.

In the house of trust we find grace, acceptance and the honesty we need to move forward in our walk with God. We can give up ‘church happy face’ and live in authenticity before God and each other. We can discover freedom.

Desperate Housewives is popular for another reason; the underlying and constant innuendo and the frequent and open use of sex to fill deeper needs.

Desperate HouseLives are full of “Broken Bedrooms”. Bedroom doesn’t refer to the location, simply the notion of sex & sexuality.

For too many problems, we finger sex as the culprit or the answer.

Sex is created by God and can be a wonderful thing; or it can become an addiction that destroys instead of brings pleasure; it can become a desire that corrupts relationships and marriages and leads to adultery and divorce.

Man Sues Apple Over Potential Hearing Loss
By DAN GOODIN The Associated Press Wednesday, February 1, 2006; 11:37 PM
SAN FRANCISCO -- A Louisiana man claims in a lawsuit that Apple's iPod music player can cause hearing loss in people who use it.

Although the iPod is more popular than other types of portable music players, its ability to cause noise-induced hearing isn't any higher, experts said.

"We have numerous products in the marketplace that have the potential to damage hearing," said Deanna Meinke, an audiology professor at the University of Northern Colorado. "The risk is there but the risk lies with the user and where they set the volume."

Apple was forced to pull the iPod from store shelves in France and upgrade software on the device to limit sound to 100 decibels, but has not followed suit in the United States, according to the complaint. The headphones commonly referred to as ear buds, which ship with the iPod, also contribute to noise-induced hearing loss because they do not dilute the sound entering the ear and are closer to the ear canal than other sound sources, the complaint states.

The silliness of this lawsuit reminds me of sexuality: what can be an amazing thing, when engaged in with the wrong motives and wrong way can lead to great loss. And so we shake our fist at God for making us this way. We avoid the responsibility.

We live with broken bedrooms. We think we understand the basics of sex.

Charlie Sheen on sex:
In-out, repeat if necessary.

Whoever, whenever, however we want to do it is fine. Not married- no problem. Not dating- no problem: casual sex. She said “no”; no problem- I have a desire that I need to feed. She’ll get over it. Date rape.

Isn’t Canada great? The government has no place in the bedrooms or regulating what goes on between people. We now have legal ‘swinger’ clubs.

In last summer's prize-winning R-rated film "Me and You and Everyone We Know," a barely pubescent boy is seduced into oral sex by two girls perhaps a year older, and his 6-year-old brother logs on to a pornographic chat room and solicits a grown woman with instant messages about "poop."

We need to teach on this material. Can you imagine if you lived in the Florida everglades and swamps but no one ever talked about crocs to you? You’d see people with missing arms, hands, legs and other disfigurements because the hazards were never discussed. Well, the scars and wounds from sexuality are easily hidden but affect many if not all of us present here today.

There are some steps to sex that we should know, both to engage but also avoid temptation: These steps can apply to a relationship and to a setting.
1. The interested look.
2. The obvious flirt.
3. I wanna hold your hand.
4. The embrace
5. A kiss, then more kissing and finally, “The kiss to end all kisses”.
6. Making out, aka “Paradise By The Dashboard Lights” from Meatloaf
7. Sex

Sex begins in the kitchen is the title of a relationship book for parents with children. The idea is that sexuality flows out of covenant relationship. Sexuality is a fruit of the love a couple has for each other, not the ‘love’ itself. It is never an ‘act’. It is meant to convey the greatest form of INTIMACY possible.

Therefore we need to know where to draw the line because God desires us to live a pure life.

1 Thessalonians 4:3-8
God wants you to be holy, so you should keep clear of all sexual sin. Then each of you will control your body and live in holiness and honor-- not in lustful passion as the pagans do, in their ignorance of God and his ways. Never cheat a Christian brother in this matter by taking his wife, for the Lord avenges all such sins, as we have solemnly warned you before. God has called us to be holy, not to live impure lives. Anyone who refuses to live by these rules is not disobeying human rules but is rejecting God, who gives his Holy Spirit to you.

God wants you to be holy and completely free from sexual immorality. Make no mistake though. God is the author of love and intimacy.

“Anyone who has ever experienced great lovemaking instinctively knows the truth: Sex is too good to have just happened. It didn’t evolve as the results of some cosmic accident. Something this exquisite had to have been lovingly, brilliantly, creatively designed. If an atheist ever comes up to you and demands proof that there is a God, all you have to answer is one word: “Sex.” Give him a day to think about it. If at the end of that day he remains unconvinced, then he has just revealed far more about his sex life – or the lack thereof – than he ever intended! God created sex. Doesn’t that tell you a lot about who God really is? Among other things, it tells you that He is ingenious.” Stephen and Judith Schwambach

Intimacy is therefore:

1. All about relationship.

Colossians 3:23
Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as though you were working for the Lord and not for people.

2. All about marriage and a special gift from God.

Genesis 2:18
Then the Lord God said, It is not good for the man to live alone. I will make a suitable companion to help him."

So what exactly does the Biblical model of marriage look like?

Ephesians 5:32-33
This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one.
So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
Wives love and respect your husbands as the church gives its life to Christ.

Ephesians 5:21 & 33b
Submit yourselves to one another because of your reverence for Christ. Every husband must love his wife as himself, and every wife must respect her husband.
Husbands love your wives the way Christ loved the church.

Ephesians 5:25 & 28
Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave his life for it. Men ought to love their wives just as they love their own bodies. A man who loves his wife loves himself.
Marriage is not the place to stand up for your rights; marriage is a decision to serve one another.

Ephesians 5:21
Submit yourselves to one another because of your reverence for Christ.

If you’ve made mistakes, the Bible simply says to face them and ask for forgiveness.

Hosea 14:1-5
Return, O Israel, to the LORD your God, for your sins have brought you down. Bring your petitions, and return to the LORD. Say to him, "Forgive all our sins and graciously receive us, so that we may offer you the sacrifice of praise. Assyria cannot save us, nor can our strength in battle. Never again will we call the idols we have made `our gods.' No, in you alone do the orphans find mercy." The LORD says, "Then I will heal you of your idolatry and faithlessness, and my love will know no bounds, for my anger will be gone forever! I will be to Israel like a refreshing dew from heaven.

Psalm 38:18
I confess my sins; I am deeply sorry for what I have done.

John 8:10-11
"Where are your accusers? Didn't even one of them condemn you?"
"No, Lord," she said. And Jesus said, "Neither do I. Go and sin no more."

“What’s the first thing to go when you’re busy, tired, and stressed? If you said sex, you’re not alone. An estimated 24 million American women say they don’t have time, are too exhausted, or just aren’t in the mood for sex, and more than a third of Redbook readers say that being too tired is their number one excuse for not having sex. So we put it off for later – but later can easily become never. In case you haven’t noticed, abstinence doesn’t make the loving grow hotter, it just begets more abstinence. Sex on the other hand, begets more sex. Studies show that lovemaking elevates the levels of brain chemicals associated with desire. So the best way to increase your yearning for sex is to have it.” Susan Crain Bekos

Twenty percent of married couples have sex less than once a month. Couples are harried, busy, stressed, exhausted. They're clinically depressed, or their hormones are out of whack, or they're dealing with childhood sexual abuse. Whatever the cause, married folks don't seem to be having much sex. Lauren Winner

It’s a sign of living Desperate HouseLives.

Lauren Winner has written that the church often lies to people about sex because it’s an awkward subject. When we tell single people that you’ll feel horrible after engaging in premarital sex, and they don’t feel bad about it after, they start to question other ideas.

1 Corinthians 6:18-20
Run away from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body. Or don't you know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.

Thoughts from the television show:
“We’re not like other families, are we?”

“Pretty girls are never lonely”

”I know what you did. It makes sick. I’m going to tell.”

“What the hell kind of street do we live on anyway?”

Purity card: LOVE
“Take it, apply it, and trust me to make it real. I love you, Jesus.”

In Christ I am:

As a disciple, I am a friend of Jesus Christ. John 15:15

I am free from condemnation. Romans 8:1-2

I have been redeemed and forgiven of all my sins. Colossians 1:13-14

I may approach God with freedom and confidence. Ephesians 3:12

I am God's temple. 1 Corinthians 3:16

I have been chosen by God and adopted as His child. Ephesians 1:3-8