Wanting

"There are many times my life doesn't resemble much of God's desire for me." Lauren Winner

Do you ever think of your life in the same way Lauren Winner does? Many times we want more for our life but settle for less. One way we can step out of the shadows is to truly become ourselves.

Now I become myself. It's taken
Time, many years and places;
I have been dissolved and shaken,
Worn other people's faces. May Sarton

To be genuine without being inappropriate and authentic without grandstanding is to learn to live out of the person we are becoming rather than from the shadow of our substance.

Becoming more genuine and authentic is often paralled with moving from Performance to Expression.

Performance is action driven by a need to increase the size of our ego and sustain our never-ending obsession for recognition. We'll often adopt someone else's persona to aid us in the pursuit of performance.

Performance drives me to pursue action for the sole purpose of enlarging my image, whether it's through a job or relationship. Even though I know it's wrong for me, I still pursue it because it feeds the bottomless pit of my ego. Performance-driven living takes me to a selfish and ungrateful place. It leads us to lament "I am sometimes so obsessed about what could be that I lose the joy of what is."

Expression is different. Here the actions taken come from a genuine and authentic sense of self. This self reveals my originality and satisfies my desire to create. Recognition is no longer important because it means that I'm becoming everything that God wants me to become. I no longer need to grandstand and show-off; I have an audience of One and a community of support who also accepts and blesses my true self.

"The difference between performance and expression is the difference between living one's life radically centered in God versus living centered in the messages of the world. There's enormous freedom in that." Marcus Borg

Want to live a life of genuineness and creativity? Want to become all that God intended for you?
Move from performance to expression by following the words of the Prayer of St. Francis today,

Lord, make me an instrument of thy peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
Where there is injury, pardon;
Where there is doubt, faith;
Where there is despair, hope;
Where there is darkness, light;
Where there is sadness, joy.
O divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
To be consoled as to console,
To be understood as to understand,
To be loved as to love;
For it is in giving that we receive;
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
It is in dying that we are born to eternal life.