'If I wanted your opinion I'd give it to you...'

Sadly many relationships operate the same way- no real listening, no real connection & then either a very real divorce, a messy break-up, or a case of 'frozen tundra' communication.

"He Said...She Said"
Another marriage is shattered, Lord, the divorce will be final next week.
He said it was the breakdown of communication and the subtle infiltration of boredom.
She said it was an accumulation of things.
He said she was unnecessarily preoccupied with home, children and activities.
She said he stifled her dreams and ignored her achievements.
He said he felt in prison, restricted; that night- after-night he got the old pushaway.
She said he was harsh and brutal and often embarrassed her in public.
He said her critical attitude contributed to his sense of inadequacy.
She said she felt lonely and unappreciated with no claim to personal identity.
He said she wallowed in self-pity and refused to acknowledge her benefits.
She said he was shiftless and irresponsible.
He said she didn't understand.
She said he didn't care. Lord, how tragic that through all the wasted years, neither of them asked what YOU'VE said. Ruth Harmes Catkins

What has God said about relationships?

Ephesians 5:1-5, 21-28
Watch what God does, and then you do it, like children who learn proper behavior from their parents. Mostly what God does is love you. Keep company with him and learn a life of love. Observe how Christ loved us. His love was not cautious but extravagant. He didn't love in order to get something from us but to give everything of himself to us. Love like that.

Don't allow love to turn into lust, setting off a downhill slide into sexual promiscuity, filthy practices, or bullying greed. Though some tongues just love the taste of gossip, those who follow Jesus have better uses for language than that. Don't talk dirty or silly. That kind of talk doesn't fit our style. Thanksgiving is our dialect.

You can be sure that using people or religion or things just for what you can get out of them—the usual variations on idolatry—will get you nowhere, and certainly nowhere near the kingdom of Christ, the kingdom of God.

Out of respect for Christ, be courteously reverent to one another.

Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ. The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing. So just as the church submits to Christ as he exercises such leadership, wives should likewise submit to their husbands.

Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting. Christ's love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They're really doing themselves a favor—since they're already "one" in marriage.